"I didn't know I was pregnant..."

The longest I've seen a patient go denying her pregnancy is 23 weeks and 6 days. I'm sure there have women who have denied it much longer [see "I didn't know I was pregnant"on TLC] but it's not quite the same as seeing it happening. She was 19 and looked like she was 12. She came in for abdominal pain. "Something doesn't feel right down there," she said. I admit, I should have been listening more closely and I should have asked her more questions. I scanned her empty chart and checked her vital signs, no allergies, no medications. No recent labs. "Ok, well let's take a look," I said. I took my first full look at her, probably for the first time since she came into the office. She was wearing a brown corduroy jacket and tight jeans. Her abdomen was clearly gravid. I looked at her chart again, as if that would tell me any answers. No, Chloe, still blank.

Yup, she was pregnant. She later told me she had not had her period for 5 months. She wanted something to be done, but she didn't know what.

I talked to her about options. I laid them out for her and what she could expect, but honestly, I don't think I could prepare her enough. I don't think anyone is really prepared for their first child, much less someone who is a child herself. 

I got her an appointment with an OB/GYN, but she later ended up not showing for that appointment, and I never heard from her again.

What a Fever Feels Like

I have two bright, beautiful, darling daughters who are in school and who bring home every possible illness about every two weeks to share with my husband and me. There are periods of about five to six weeks where J and I are feeling fantastic and not sick at all, but then there are times like right now, where I am stuck at home, in bed, shivering and sweating, and markedly aware of every muscle and joint in my body because they all ache.

Meanwhile, my girls are happily playing at school today. They have a few snots, but that doesn't stop them, and they don't have fevers, lucky them.

Update: I don't have a fever anymore. My husband has taken the girls outside. I love him so much. 

A lot happens in 2 years…

When I look at childhood friends’ Facebook pages, friends I have not spoken to or really seen face-to-face in over 30 years, I am surprised to see how they have grown and changed. I don’t know why I am startled by the outlines of their evolved faces, their bodies taller and their children’s pictures peppering their time lines. This is especially true when I look at ex-boyfriend’s pages, and I admit, I do this, though not often. I suppose I am surprised because I value my memory over reality. How dare things change when I look away for 30 years!

But my life has not changed with as much depth and breadth as it has in the last 2 years. I had another beautiful baby girl, Sweet D, now 1 and ½ years old, and moved from Boston to a sleepy suburb just outside it. We bought a house and we have a second car, despite our diehard love of public transportation. Our oldest daughter Poco was very sick for a time, but now she is better, happy, and growing. Lastly, I changed jobs, which was probably the hardest change for me. I loved the last practice I was a part of, but the commute into the city via car and train and trudging uphill was too much.

Now, I’m a primary care doctor in Quincy, MA at a practice smaller than my last and a short drive from my house. My children go to school literally next door to my office. My patients are older than those at my last practice, but I still have some younger patients. Everyone here has been calm, attentive, and most of all, kind. The atmosphere is different. I see many older patients, something I love to do. My mother is a Geriatric Psychiatrist and she tells me she doesn’t want to retire, because she loves taking care of her patients. I can understand how she feels. It is quite rewarding.